can silence be loud?

i feel like there’s too much quiet in me, blocking out the sound. you ask how that is possible - i don’t know. can space howl? can emptiness scream? or can a shout be mute? a volcanic eruption be silent? 
did you know i used to be in love with this earth. you would have noticed, you couldn’t have helped it. but right now i’m hardly aware of the way the grass pulses, the way the sky flames. i wish i could go back to seeing. it’s there, yet it’s not. i can gaze with my eyes, but nothing touches my heart. how can you be so full of something, yet still be missing it?

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